OPERATION: Get The Kittens Off The Damned Roof…Day 1

So, there’s this pizza restaurant down the street. The place has decent pizza and a cat on the roof. The calzone’s not too bad either. Did I mention the cat? Seems a neighborhood stray has decided to make her home on the restaurant’s roof. She climbs a tree that is a short leap to the roof and does just that….leaps to the roof. Now, that’s all find and dandy. Not a bad place to live if you’re a stray cat. No dogs or people to bother you, the constant smell of pizza and close to the garbage bin that has a never ending supply of scraps to dine on. Pretty smart stray if you ask me. The problem is she took it a step too far. She decided it was a great place to raise a family as well and had a litter of kittens on the roof. While a roof is a fine place to live if you’re a cat, it’s pretty lousy if you’re a kitten. Oh sure, the first month or so is great. Mama’s weaning you. However, at some point the kittens are going to need regular food and they are too small to make it off the roof. This is where I come into the picture……lucky me. The guy who runs the restaurant knows I take care of some strays so he asked me if I could help. I, like an idiot, said sure.

 At 8 am I loaded a big freakin’ ladder into my car. This was a chore in itself. Big ladder…small car. My rear seat folds down so I stuck it in the trunk, over the rear seat and up to the glove compartment. Not pretty but it worked. Grabbed a couple cans of cat food and was on my way

 

 

Got to the restaurant and saw the momma cat and the kittens on the roof just sitting there. Cool, this was gonna be easy.

 

 

 

 

 

 Unloaded the ladder and placed it against the wall. Climb the ladder and watch the kittens scatter. Seems they not only live on the roof but in it as well. There’s a nice hole where a board had fallen off part of under part of the roof. It’s hard to see but the fallen board makes a nice ramp that leads into a section of the roof where it rises. Ok, maybe this isn’t going to be all that easy after all.

 

 

 I put some cat food out for the kittens and wait. The momma cat eats all the cat food. Hoping that the mother has had her fill I put another can out and wait some more. Still not kittens. I get off the roof and go get a coke. When I come back I check and see the kittens eating the food. I get on the roof and sneak up to the kittens. Three out of the four take off like a shot and go into the roof again. I get the fourth one and get him into a pet carrier that I placed on the roof during my first trip up there. After I get the kitten down I wait for a while to see if the other kittens come out again. Must have spooked them good as they were no-shows. I’ll try again this evening but for now I have one new kitten in the house.

 

 This is Gutter. He is scared to death. Probably the first contact with a person he’s had. Gonna take some time for him to get used to things. Seems pretty healthy but hungry. He’s hiding under the towel caddy or whatever you call it in the bathroom.

 

 

 

 

 Here’s a little bit better of a picture. You can’t tell but he is shaking like a Chihuahua after a couple Espressos. Hope I can get, at least one more of his siblings. Might make him feel safer.

 

 

 

So, who wants a kitten?

Since the British courts have allowed human-animal hybrids…

…maybe we can do the same thing with politicians. I’m hoping for an Obama-Llama or Obllama. Not only will we get free healthcare but really nice sweaters as well.

Dumbasses on both sides

Lately I’ve been taking a break from politics. I haven’t been watching the news, visiting the political web sites or listening to the talk shows all that much. It’s been a pleasant break. However, when I heard that Ted Kennedy was in the hospital I read the stories and visited some of the conservative web sites to see what kind of reaction conservatives had to the news. I’m not sure if it is because I’ve been staying away from these kinds of things lately or not but I was disturbed by the comments that some, so called, conservatives posted. Lots of people hoping Kennedy dies or is incapacitated enough to be forced to give up his seat. The thing is, these are probably the same self righteous, hypocritical bastards that throw a fit when they read similar comments about conservatives posted by their liberal counterparts at sites like Democratic Underground or Huffington Report. These people are as much an embarrassment to conservatism as the nut jobs on the left are to liberalism.

Now, I’m not a fan of Kennedy in any way, shape or form. I think the man’s political beliefs are the total opposite of what the founding fathers intended for this country. I don’t like his political game playing or underhanded techniques. There’s a lot of things I don’t like about the man. Still. I don’t want him dead and I hope he fully recovers from his illness. Politics isn’t important enough to wish anyone dead just because they’re on the opposite side.

When it comes to people like Kennedy, Michael Moore, Obama and moonbats in general, I’ll make fun of their ideas and may even poke fun at them as people but I  hope each has a long, healthy, happy life and die peacefully in their sleep. That’s what conservatives are all about, wanting the best for everyone, even those we don’t like. Besides, the longer they live, the more time we have to show them just how wrong they really are.

A lot of hardcore conservatives have gotten it so wrong. Rather than doing what is right, they take great pride in just doing the opposite of what liberals believe just so they can piss them off. Liberal want us to conserve gas, they take pride in owning a big honkin’ SUV. Liberal want clean water, they want to pee in a river. Yeah, it makes no sense but that is what some people believe it means to be a conservative.

Real conservatives want the same things liberals want but they approach problems from different angles. When it comes to things like energy, the liberals , like that dufuss Obama want you to set your thermostat higher in the summer and lower in the winter. Their answer is to cut back. Conservatives say develop new technologies to overcome the problem. Rather than cut back, let’s make energy abundant for everyone. When it comes to pollution, liberals want to make laws to force companies to reduce  emissions. Conservatives want to reward companies that come up with new ways to run cleaner. For health care the left wants to tax us into oblivion so the government can provide us with it. Conservatives want to make it so everyone can afford to get it on their own. Same problems, different solutions. No country ever made progress by going backwards.

Ok, I kind of strayed off my original post a bit. The point of it is that it doesn’t matter if you’re hardcore left or right, if you take joy in someone dying just because you don’t like their politics you’re a jerk. If you disagree with me then you are worse than Hitler.

I stole that last line from Greg Gutfeld , the host of my new, favorite nighttime news show Red Eye on Fox News Channel. 

Gotta love Stephen King

The guy’s an idiot but in an, unintentionally amusing, kind of way. Here’s a nice little quote about the benefits of knowing how to read.

"The fact is if you can read, you can walk into a job later on. If you don’t, then you’ve got the Army, Iraq, I don’t know, something like that,"

So, what have we learned from Mr. King? Well, if you can read, you can just walk into a job. I’m not sure what that means but it’s something that people have the ability to do if they can read. Then he tells us that "If you don’t read", notice he says "don’t" and not "can’t", "then you’ve got the Army, Iraq, I don’t know, something like that". So, if you don’t (as opposed to can’t) read, he tells us that you’re stuck with the Army and Iraq. However, then he tells us that he doesn’t really know. It’s not necessarily the Army and Iraq. It could just be something like the Army and Iraq. It could the the Air Force and Hawaii. That would be a pretty sweet gig.

Of course we all know the gist of what he was trying to say. If you can read you have a chance for a normal job and if you can’t you’re options are limited to something that takes no knowledge which he mistakenly thinks is military service.

What I’ve learned from Mr. King is that if your command of your mother tongue is equal to that of a first generation Russian immigrant, you can become a best selling author. You’d think that a guy who writes for a living would be able to put a couple coherent sentences together. Oh well, just because someone can write doesn’t mean that they are great or even decent public speaker. I hear the military can use people like that.

Too Cool

I was doing a search on the Maisonneuve magazine cover where they used my artwork (I still find calling anything done with Photoshop “artwork” weird but, hey, you have to call it something)  and came across a neat online article on Canada’s National Review web site. The article is titled “Cover Pages of the Ages”. Seems the person who wrote the article really liked the cover. Heres a cut and paste of what they wrote:

Singling out a feature on persecuted former Scientologist Gerry Armstrong, the current issue of Montreal-based magazine Maisonneuve has a grainy cover image of a young man resembling Armstrong, kneeling in prayer and illuminated from above by an unidentified flying object. It takes a page from Lois and is witty, clever and austere in its simplicity. I was waiting in the express lane and, dear reader, I bought it.

Ok, the person on the cover is supposed to look like Tom Cruise but if it looks like Gerry Armstrong that works too.

Here’s the link to the article. It explains who the Lois person is that it “takes a page from”.

http://www.nationalpost.com/todays_paper/story.html?id=483708